Flat Christy blogs: The joys of kindergarten and the wonders of the U.S. postal system

It’s not every day that a supermodel-skinny, blonde bombshell dressed in a hot pink bodysuit ends up on your doorstep, willing to follow you to the ends of the earth. Unless, of course, your 5-year-old niece’s kindergarten class is doing a Flat Christy project. Check out that bod.

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I’m guessing this femme fatale is somehow related to the less-glamorous Flat Stanley, a project started by a Canadian schoolteacher in 1995. For those of us who did not experience the glory that is Flat Stanley, like my poor, childhood-deprived fiancé (I sent him one in college, turns out the things that are cool when you’re 5 are just weird when you’re 19), the project involves sending Stanley, the unfortunate victim of a bulletin board accident that leaves him completely flat, to friends and family members. The technical purpose, if I remember correctly, is to learn letter writing and about creating community. Of course, the real thing students learn is whose flat friend travels the farthest, making them the most popular kid on the playground for at least two whole days.

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Courtesy of flatstanleysecondgrade.wikispaces.com

So, when Flat Christy arrived on my doorstep, complete with a journal and the request to take lots of pictures of the two of us having excellent adventures, I got a little nervous. The excitement of a super cute, towheaded 5-year-old rests in my hands. After all, what adventures does a worn-out grad student have? Um, tons, obviously. Flat Christy and I have big plans. A blog or two, perhaps an all-nighter and, of course, a week’s worth of classes. Hold on to your pink jumpsuit, Christy.

Flat Christy is perhaps the most tangible example of the awesomeness that is kindergarten. As a child of the 90s, most of my fondest memories of kindergarten center around Knex and the newest Disney VHS, a joy today’s iPad-wielding 5-year-olds will never know. But our flat friends have stood the test of time. So let’s raise our Capri Suns to Flat Christy; may her travels be safe and her postage adequate.

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